Two nights, no sleep

My Mom headed home on Tuesday, leaving the monitor to us. Werner, having rightfully reclaimed his spot in our marital bed, stayed put. (Much to my delight.) The monitor moved into our room.

{sigh}

This isn't going well.

The first night, Werner still cared for Jakob through the night, although I think I did get up once to reinstall the soother. I had broken sleep.

Last night, the second night, I scarcely slept at all. Being a school night for Werner, I finally attempted to take on my responsibility and care for the babe through the night. (Afterall, I already care for him during the day, why not nighttime hours too?) I was up three times on soother duty, plus once to feed. The feeding began at 4:45 or so, and I got back in bed at about 5:30.

I hate the 5 am feeding. By the time I'm ready to go back to bed, it hardly seems worth the bother. But, as it happens, the best sleep I got all night was the patch from 6:30 until Werner's alarm went off at 7. Yes, that's right, a half hour.

The rest of the night, I woke up with every sound Jakob made. (Fortunately, there were relatively few last night, but I still heard each one.) And it seems our monitor likes to change channels every few minutes. It seemed that it sensed me nodding off, for every time I started to drift into sleep, it changed channels and woke me up.

Some time around 3 or so, I dug out my earplugs. That helped to smooth out the channel changes, at least.

I'm dragging today. My head hurts, my eyes are heavy, and I feel absolutely lost. I feel like I did for all of October and half of November.

But it's my job to take care of the baby. That's what evolution says, right? Werner has bailed me out for months. I've relied on him too much, and that hasn't been fair to him.

I have to suck it up. I don't know how, and I don't think I'll be all that pleasant to live with, but I have to do it. Somehow.