Lurching
I feel like I cannot keep my balance. Every time I think that maybe, just maybe, I'm starting to figure it out, everything changes.
It was a nightmare1 to establish breastfeeding. A month of pumping around the clock and bottle feeding the expressed milk meant that we finally succeeded. Then it was sore nipples, clogged ducts, engorgement, leaks, hour-long nursing marathons, and so on. But I kept at it, because I honestly believe it is best for Jakob, and if I can do it, I should. Finally, by the time we went to Europe, I felt like I knew what I was doing. I was managing. I know about when he'll want to eat (no matter what the time zone), and about how long it will take (currently 10 minutes, and just one side). I know he'll soak me with spit-up, but I also know that semi-digested and curdled breastmilk, though disgusting, won't stain. Werner's nose has learnt how to distinguish between poops and farts, and we know that, most days, Jakob will poop in the morning.
And now we have to go and screw it all up. Jakob's going to be six months old next week, which means it is supposedly (current research - subject to change without notice, I'm sure) the optimal time to introduce solids.
I'm hesitant to do so. Not because I enjoy breastfeeding (because, to be perfectly honest, I don't, but I do believe it is best for Jakob), but because I feel like I'm finally getting into a rhythm. In the morning, Werner gets up, brings Jakob to our room, and I nurse him in bed. By the time Werner has showered and dressed, Jakob is finished, so Werner brings him downstairs and gives him his vitamin D and his Zantac while I shower (if I'm lucky) and dress. If I'm really lucky, I can eat breakfast before Werner leaves for work, and Werner will squeeze in one last (post-poop) diaper change before heading out.
How am I going to work in cereal? I'll have to pump (or make sure there's enough milk in the fridge) to make up the cereal. I've read that it might be better to nurse first, which will be more convenient in that I can still do it in bed. I've read that it's best to introduce solids when the baby is at his most content, which for Jakob is first thing in the morning; this also gives me all day to watch for allergic reactions. So cereal for breakfast it will be.
I might be fretting over nothing, but I have so little control over my life (hah! my life?? I surely don't have enough free will left to claim ownership of this life!) that this little change seems threatening.
I was starting to get comfortable, and now I feel like I've got to start all over again.
I'm just not ready for more change.
1 Yes, a nightmare. Bringing a 3-day-old to emerg because breastfeeding has failed is a nightmare. At best.
It was a nightmare1 to establish breastfeeding. A month of pumping around the clock and bottle feeding the expressed milk meant that we finally succeeded. Then it was sore nipples, clogged ducts, engorgement, leaks, hour-long nursing marathons, and so on. But I kept at it, because I honestly believe it is best for Jakob, and if I can do it, I should. Finally, by the time we went to Europe, I felt like I knew what I was doing. I was managing. I know about when he'll want to eat (no matter what the time zone), and about how long it will take (currently 10 minutes, and just one side). I know he'll soak me with spit-up, but I also know that semi-digested and curdled breastmilk, though disgusting, won't stain. Werner's nose has learnt how to distinguish between poops and farts, and we know that, most days, Jakob will poop in the morning.
And now we have to go and screw it all up. Jakob's going to be six months old next week, which means it is supposedly (current research - subject to change without notice, I'm sure) the optimal time to introduce solids.
I'm hesitant to do so. Not because I enjoy breastfeeding (because, to be perfectly honest, I don't, but I do believe it is best for Jakob), but because I feel like I'm finally getting into a rhythm. In the morning, Werner gets up, brings Jakob to our room, and I nurse him in bed. By the time Werner has showered and dressed, Jakob is finished, so Werner brings him downstairs and gives him his vitamin D and his Zantac while I shower (if I'm lucky) and dress. If I'm really lucky, I can eat breakfast before Werner leaves for work, and Werner will squeeze in one last (post-poop) diaper change before heading out.
How am I going to work in cereal? I'll have to pump (or make sure there's enough milk in the fridge) to make up the cereal. I've read that it might be better to nurse first, which will be more convenient in that I can still do it in bed. I've read that it's best to introduce solids when the baby is at his most content, which for Jakob is first thing in the morning; this also gives me all day to watch for allergic reactions. So cereal for breakfast it will be.
I might be fretting over nothing, but I have so little control over my life (hah! my life?? I surely don't have enough free will left to claim ownership of this life!) that this little change seems threatening.
I was starting to get comfortable, and now I feel like I've got to start all over again.
I'm just not ready for more change.
1 Yes, a nightmare. Bringing a 3-day-old to emerg because breastfeeding has failed is a nightmare. At best.
posted by Melanie A at 9:48 p.m.
1 Comments:
Melanie,
we started solids with Sophia at six months, and it took a couple of months for her to get into the groove. I read somewhere that we control where we give the baby food, and he controls what, how much and when. Take it slow. You can actually get cereal (Milupa brand) where you only have to add hot water. It's tastier than regular rice cereal, so you might try it to keep life a little easier! Good luck!
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