Daily tidbit
Each day, a pregnancy website I consult offers a 'tidbit' of information. Today's blurb I'm going to post here, in full and unedited1:
Daily Info Tidbit
Ambivalence: Has everything you have heard and read lately been telling you how wonderful it will be to be a new mom? It will be really wonderful, more wonderful than you ever could have dreamed, and you will never regret having that baby that you will cherish above anything else.
Don't be really surprised though if the reality of new motherhood does not always match the fantasy. If it turns out that not every aspect of new motherhood is blissful, or if it takes you a while to get used to your new role, that is no reflection on you as a mother.
Pictures of motherhood are often painted through rose-colored glasses. It is taboo to mention that all aspects of mothering are not completely rewarding. New mothers are thus rarely told in advance how some of it is really tiring and monotonous and under-valued.
While becoming a mom for the first time brings with it all kinds of blessings, there is also some loss involved and it is acceptable to recognize and even mourn for that loss. You may have days where you will just crave some peace, quiet and freedom.
In some ways you will be losing a part of your former, youthful, unencumbered self and it is not unreasonable, selfish or unmotherly to feel some grief about that. No matter how much love and joy your child brings you, there will be moments in the months ahead where you may feel this loss acutely, especially as you get used to your new role and encompass it within your identity. It's okay and perfectly normal to feel some ambivalence as motherhood and the role associated with it transforms your identity.
1 Yes, I know I should probably give the link to the page I'm referring to, but I just don't feel like it right now. So there!
Daily Info Tidbit
Ambivalence: Has everything you have heard and read lately been telling you how wonderful it will be to be a new mom? It will be really wonderful, more wonderful than you ever could have dreamed, and you will never regret having that baby that you will cherish above anything else.
Don't be really surprised though if the reality of new motherhood does not always match the fantasy. If it turns out that not every aspect of new motherhood is blissful, or if it takes you a while to get used to your new role, that is no reflection on you as a mother.
Pictures of motherhood are often painted through rose-colored glasses. It is taboo to mention that all aspects of mothering are not completely rewarding. New mothers are thus rarely told in advance how some of it is really tiring and monotonous and under-valued.
While becoming a mom for the first time brings with it all kinds of blessings, there is also some loss involved and it is acceptable to recognize and even mourn for that loss. You may have days where you will just crave some peace, quiet and freedom.
In some ways you will be losing a part of your former, youthful, unencumbered self and it is not unreasonable, selfish or unmotherly to feel some grief about that. No matter how much love and joy your child brings you, there will be moments in the months ahead where you may feel this loss acutely, especially as you get used to your new role and encompass it within your identity. It's okay and perfectly normal to feel some ambivalence as motherhood and the role associated with it transforms your identity.
1 Yes, I know I should probably give the link to the page I'm referring to, but I just don't feel like it right now. So there!
posted by Melanie A at 4:35 p.m.
1 Comments:
It bites!!! No, not totally...:)
But considering I never wanted a 'career', that I wanted to be the mother hen to a house full of little people...It's tough! I still want 3 or 4, but I don't think I'm the best mom in the world at this newborn stage- I think where I'll excel is when there's more interaction. That she's starting to laugh on top of smiling makes it better everyday! So be prepared for it not being all that you thought it would be- you KNOW you love your little being, but the gamut of emotions runs it's course, and I didn't even have PPD in the slightest!
Mind you, maybe you'll love love love it!
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