Sleepers awake
I've come to dread nighttime. I'm flat-out exhausted and would love nothing more than to collapse into bed for a good 12 straight hours of sleep, but instead I grudgingly climb in, knowing that I'll be woken up again before I can even know that I've ever been asleep.
Jakob is feeding every three hours, meaning that my life is divided into three-hour segments. Out of those three hours, one is dedicated to feeding Jakob, burping him, and changing him. Even if Werner changes the diaper (we find it best to change him as I switch from one breast to the other), I'm still on stand-by during the diaper change. The meter keeps running. Then I'm left with just two hours to get comfortable and fall back to sleep before the cycle starts all over again. At best, I can get 90 minutes or so of sleep before he's awake and asking for more milk.
The up side of unsuccessful breastfeeding was that someone else could give him a bottle. Several nights, Nanny and Poppy gave him a bottle so we could get a headstart on sleep, and Werner would take a nighttime feeding (or two) so I could get a little extra rest after a middle-of-the-night pumping session. (I'd make up for it by taking Jakob downstairs early in the morning, so Werner could get three or maybe even four hours uninterrupted.) Now that it is all about the udders, I am responsible for all the feedings, all of the time.
(Speaking of which, I've got to go pump. I'm trying to stock up the freezer, so maybe some day I'll get a break.)
As much as I should be looking forward to every evening, and the promise of sleep, nightfall brings anxiety as I know I'll face the next day even more tired than I was before bed.
Jakob is feeding every three hours, meaning that my life is divided into three-hour segments. Out of those three hours, one is dedicated to feeding Jakob, burping him, and changing him. Even if Werner changes the diaper (we find it best to change him as I switch from one breast to the other), I'm still on stand-by during the diaper change. The meter keeps running. Then I'm left with just two hours to get comfortable and fall back to sleep before the cycle starts all over again. At best, I can get 90 minutes or so of sleep before he's awake and asking for more milk.
The up side of unsuccessful breastfeeding was that someone else could give him a bottle. Several nights, Nanny and Poppy gave him a bottle so we could get a headstart on sleep, and Werner would take a nighttime feeding (or two) so I could get a little extra rest after a middle-of-the-night pumping session. (I'd make up for it by taking Jakob downstairs early in the morning, so Werner could get three or maybe even four hours uninterrupted.) Now that it is all about the udders, I am responsible for all the feedings, all of the time.
(Speaking of which, I've got to go pump. I'm trying to stock up the freezer, so maybe some day I'll get a break.)
As much as I should be looking forward to every evening, and the promise of sleep, nightfall brings anxiety as I know I'll face the next day even more tired than I was before bed.
posted by Melanie A at 10:35 a.m.
2 Comments:
I know exactly how you feel. Unfortunately, it's a much worse feeling when the days are getting shorter. I remember when Joffre was born - in January - as it got dark I would feel as though I was standing at the entrance to an endless, dark, disorienting tunnel of broken sleep. So not fun.
He really should get it all more ironed out by 6 wks - 3 months, though. It's amazing what a single 5-hour stretch of baby sleep can do for your sanity every night. And then, one magical night, he will sleep 11 straight hours. It's heaven.
I've been wondering if the time of year makes a difference! I find the shortened days make it really tough. The last couple of nights I've started to doze off while nursing at around 7 or 8 pm...
Was it different with Alec and springtime?
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