We have SNOW! Es gibt SCHNEE!

Hooray! The impossible has happened! It is snowing in Vancouver!!

(Right now, I'm the little kid in this family!)

Well, at least there's no E. coli

We're in day nine of the region's boil water advisory. On Wednesday, it was announced that a sample at UBC, a little too close for comfort, tested positive for E. coli. Test results released today confirmed that it was a false positive, as officials assured all along.¹

So, thus far, no nasties have been found in the water for real. That said, the water is cloudy and stinky. Although the turbidity began following storms last Wednesday, it wasn't until Sunday that the foul water reached our end of the pipe. The toilets and other fixtures are stained with sediment.

I'm washing everything that goes into Jakob's mouth (either directly or indirectly) with bottled water. Bottles, soothers, breastpump equipment and nipples. Yes, my nipples. Warmed bottled water, in that case. We've given him just one bath since the advisory was issued, and again that was with warmed (and thermometer-tested) water. Good thing he doesn't need daily baths until he starts to crawl.

All very tedious, all starting to wear thin.

Although, I'm getting quite used to (and lazy about) cracking open a 500 ml bottle whenever I'm thirsty. That's going to be a hard habit to break.


¹ This of course begs the question, why use a testing site if it is as vulnerable to contamination as officials said it is?

Stowaway

Just in case I don't have enough to learn and to worry about, now I have to remember to check the stroller's carry bag thingy every time I take Jakob out in it. The bag, it seems, is a perfectly Phoebe-sized hideaway.

If only I had a photo...

Heat!!

The electricians were in today. We have another baseboard heater in our family room! Hooray for warmth!

And it took only, what, seven holes in the walls? Which Werner has temporarily repaired such that the holes appear to be patched up with oversized band-aids!

Cheque? Check!

Woohoo, today I received my first "Universal Child Care Benefit" cheque! With backpay!!

(Exerting great effort to ignore partisan propaganda comment included with the cheque... How, can anyone explain this to me, can 100 bucks a month improve access to childcare when we had to put Jakob on a waitlist before he was born in the hopes of getting a spot in 2008??)

65

Today, my grandparents mark their 65th wedding anniversary!

No more Huggies

I am sick of blowouts. Nearly every single time I've changed Jakob when we've used Huggies, I've been faced with a blowout. One was so bad he needed a bath - itself a logistic nightmare during a boil water advisory. Nevermind the middle-of-the-night blowout, when he was wearing a onesie. What could be more fun than wriggling a poop-soaked and -clumped onesie over his head?

Just now, Jakob screamed through the entire diaper change, and flailed so much that I couldn't even get the poop off him before he got his leg back into it. He screamed so loudly that my ears are still ringing.

Pampers it is.

Earplugs, too, if this keeps up.

Growing and growing

Jakob had his 8-week check-up yesterday (while still two days short of eight weeks). His latest stats:

Weight: 5 380 g
Head circumference: 38 cm
Length: 60 cm

He sure has grown!

A new playmate

Congratulations to our friends Jen and Paul on the birth of their son, Theo!

Crosswinds

Now that we're getting typically Vancouverish weather, when Jakob and I are out I use the stroller's rain cover more often than not. Surprise! When the rain cover is on and I'm navigating through crosswinds, it is tough to stroller along a straight line!! That one handed steering comes back to haunt me as the covered stroller behaves like a sail in the crossbreeze. Still worth it, though!

A huge perk of the rain cover - at least in chilly weather - is that it creates a little microclimate and keeps Bärchen nice and cosy.

We have smiles!!

And babbles too!

This will be useful in a couple of decades

When Jakob starts bringing girls home to meet us, oh, boy, have I got something with which to em-bare-ass (!) him! One of the gifts we've been sent is a very clever "Baby Bum Casting Kit", with which we were able to make a plaster cast of Jakob's adorably tiny baby bottom:





The kit contained enough supplies that we should be able to make a second cast, too. Too bad I can't wait until he's fully grown before making the second casting!

He might leave a trail of crumbs...

...but at least he's teaching Jakob how to vacuum. (Of course, it's a German vacuum!)


(Doesn't Werner look thrilled at being captured in a photo?)

It's one of those days...

Jakob won't let me put him down. If he's out of my arms for more than 47 seconds, he starts to wail. I can take him out of his Baby Bjorn long enough only to feed him. As soon as he has recovered from his milk coma (and has finished spitting up on as many of my body parts as he can reach), he has to go back into the carrier so I can clean up said body parts.

I've just eated a single slice of leftover (formerly frozen) pizza, the first thing to pass my lips all day, save for a cup of frigid coffee.

Oh, the joys.

(Not even mentioning the construction noise...)

Speaking of futile efforts

I have been working on thank you cards for weeks. I could have, in theory, mailed them as I finished them, but since time is tight (spare moments are rare, and always surprising) I decided I'd mail them all at once to minimise my trips to the post office. I don't even know how many stamps I need, since the list of thank you cards owing continues to grow.

It has gotten to the point where I can't even get a card finished in one sitting. I'd been working on one card for about a week, a bit at a time, and thought I might finish it today. No, somehow, it got stained with food. I've torn it up, now have to start over.

I feel like I'll never be done.

So, if you're waiting for an acknowledgement, I promise that I am working on it. Slowly but surely.

(That said, thank you thank you thank you!! All the cards and the gifts and warm wishes for Jakob are deeply appreciated!)

The nursery will be ready some day. Maybe.

Each of the last three weekends, I've said I especially wanted to set aside time to get the nursery set up, once and for all. The stencilling is obviously not going to happen; as much as I love the purple walls, I regret that the nursery lacks any decoration. The yellow teddy bear stencils would have made a big difference, adding another colour and (without being frou-frou) making the room really feel like it was meant for a baby.

The nursery still lacks a chair. It would be helpful to me to have a chair in there, in which I could nurse the Bärchen. We didn't buy a proper nursing chair; gliders, I understand, are very popular amongst new mothers. We're (I'm) going to try out the good old (and I do mean old) Poang chair from Ikea. It doesn't have cushioned arms and it doesn't rock and it is no longer comfortable, but we've got it already, so why buy another chair?

We need a bookcase. We both love books and hope Jakob will share this love. Thanks to many friends and family he's already amassed the start of a good library. So far, the books are piled on the floor.

Despite my pleas that the crib not be used for storage, things keep ending up in there. Like the Baby Bjorn, which I found there just this morning, and the blankets that are usually kept with the car seat. Until the crib is free of things which aren't actually Jakob himself, I can't use it as a safe place to put him when I need to, and so I end up not being able to do whatever it is that I need both hands for. (Like using the washroom, for instance. Or changing the cover on the change pad.)

I guess the crib and dresser are going to stay pretty much where they are, but the dresser isn't completely square against the wall and should also be anchored against the wall.

A nursery-appropriate table lamp might be nice. That would mean we'd need a side table. Which would also be useful if ever there's a chair in there, so I could keep a bottle of water within easy reach while I nurse Jakob.

But time disappears on us. Every day seems shorter than it should. I slept poorly Saturday night, so a nap became a priority. (Making this the third nap I've had in the seven weeks since Jakob has been born.)

We managed to finally set up the mobile and the aquarium, but that's it.

At this rate, Jakob will be in a big boy bed before his baby nursery is ready.

"And the cat's in the cradle with the silver spoon, Little Boy Blue, and the Man in the Moon"

I've had this tune in my head for a few days now, as Phoebe has found herself a new hiding spot. In the crib. No, not on the mattress, but actually inside the crib.

One day last week a neighbour stopped by to make sure I knew of the boil water advisory. She asked where Phoebe was, and I answered that she was probably hiding under a bed, as she scampered off as soon as she heard the doorbell. Even after my friend and her son left, Phoebe was nowhere to be seen. Finally, it was time for a diaper change, and as I was cleaning up Jakob, I heard meowing coming from inside the crib.


The crib has a drawer, in which I've stored all sorts of comfy cosy items like blankets and sheets. There's a lovely crib skirt (thanks, Nanny!) which does the job (as well it should) of hiding the underpinings of the crib as well as the contents of the drawer.

And it seems there's a Phoebe-sized opening at the back of the drawer, just big enough for our Coon to clamber into the drawer. But not, I'm afraid, big enough for her to angle herself back out. So she can get in, but not out.

I think that (save for the getting trapped bit) this is rather cute. Werner disagrees and worries about whether Phoebe should be on the Bärchen's things. (With the amount of Phoebe fur scattered about our home, she effectively is already on everything related to Bärchen.)

50

Today, Jakob is 50 days old.

Wow.

Hooray for Staples!

We're under a boil water advisory. Not an order, but an advisory. With Jakob here, I don't want to take any chances. Although health officials say the tap water is safe for washing dishes, I'm not comfortable with using it for Jakob's bottles or soothers or my breastpump paraphernalia (since what goes through the milk machine eventually end up in Bärchen anyhow). If it isn't safe for tooth brushing, it isn't safe for anything that goes in my baby's mouth. I'm not even comfortable washing my nipples with untreated tap water.

I dispatched Werner yesterday to buy water. No luck. Nothing. He checked four stores, and all were completely sold out. (Oh, except for some San Pellegrino; great for him, but I don't care for fizzy water.) I got out my 'cauldron' (my 14 l stock pot) and started boiling. Today, Werner stayed home with Jakob so I could visit my allergist, and I continued the quest for water. Finally, I had success at the Staples location closest to us. Hooray! Amazingly, the price hadn't been jacked up. (Hah! I knew supply and demand was all a farce!) Cases consisting of 12 x 500 ml bottles were still being sold for $2.60 or so; I bought six, so we should be ok for a couple of days. That said, I sure hope the boil water advisory doesn't last much more than a few days...

Pastoral care

Yesterday, a care package was dropped off to us, on behalf of our church's Pastoral Care Committee. The gift basket included many things that are clearly meant to help the parents out! Nutrition for the breastfeeding mother, goodies for the sleep-deprived parents. Included were a whole pineapple, tealight candles and holders, decaf tea, a bag of cashews and another of mixed fruit and nuts (unfortunately, that one includes peanuts), a bottle of Knudsen 'Razzleberry' juice, a box of Swedish biscuits, and a Toberlone bar. For the Bärchen, a knit toy and a boxed set of children's books.


On the topic of church, we've recently met with the minister to discuss Baptism. Given the distance, we don't expect our families to be able to attend (but, then, the distance is nothing new). Date hasn't been set yet, but the Baptism will be sooner rather than later.

Now, if only I could find a nice Christening gown... Easier said than done, especially for a boy. (And I loathe those silly white suits - no offence, of course.)

And fingers crossed that the chapel will have heat soon. Without any electricity, the brand-new furnace sits idle while the congregation shivers. We've brought Jakob to church only once, not wanting him to turn into a bearsicle. No Baptism until there's heat!

I feel awful!!

About an hour ago, as I was nursing Jakob, I decided to trim his nails. He was content and relaxed and that's how I did it last time.

And I nipped him! The thumb on his right hand. He whimpered and pulled away and looked at me and I cried and cried and cried and held him tight.

I know accidents happen, but I'm not supposed to hurt him, I'm supposed to protect him!

I feel so horrible...

Our class reunion

Last night we attended the reunion session for our prenatal classes. I'd been looking forward to this, eager to talk with the other new parents and to see the other babies, and we got to the hospital in good time. Unfortunately, I guess in part because of the very stormy weather, only two other couples made it. One of them we'd spoken with numerous times during the prenatal sessions (and since they're from Austria, I talked to them a bit about Krems, too - they report that it is a lovely little town), and the other had twins. It was a small (!) group, but the discussions were very good. We each had very different experiences with our labours and deliveries, although all three of us encountered breastfeeding problems. Werner and I both sang the praises of Dr Livingstone, and were frank with the leader about our experiences with being sent home without support before breastfeeding had been established and then ending up in emerg. (In fact, she suggested that this traumatic experience could be the reason behind my continued night panics about Jakob being entangled in the bedding. Moreover, she recommended that we let the hospital know what happened, so it doesn't happen again.)

We watched a video about infant massage (something I'd been attempting, but just by instinct about what might soothe Jakob, rather than using specific techniques) and a photo was taken of the babies and also of the babies with their parents. Most of all, I appreciated the chance to compare notes with the others.

Before the session began, we stopped by the ward and dropped off a thank you gift, goodies from Chocolate Arts. We managed to get there before 7:00, so hopefully the chocolates could be enjoyed by both shifts.

Mama's firsts

I have had a big week!

On Monday, I took Jakob out for our first solo shopping trip. I've been out with him countless times, either with Werner or with Mom and Gord, but this was the first time that just the two of us had been out. Werner and I took him to Oakridge when he was, oh, 16 days old, so I knew there was a parents' room available, and since that's the only Eddie Bauer in the land, that's where I wanted to go anyway.

My second first for the day: for the first time away from home, I breastfed Jakob! I had brought a bottle along just in case, but I did nurse him in the parents' room. A small, windowless room with a fairly comfortable couch. Since it takes a very long time to feed him, there was a parade of mothers and children (and other assorted family members, too) while we were in there, and I had some interesting conversations. Now I've convinced myself that I can nurse him away from home - as in, away from the comfy armchair and the pricey purply nursing pillow. It is possible. I will be able to do this when we travel and I cannot always have a bottle of breastmilk available for him.

PS - note to Gord: it is astonishingly easy to spend gobs of money on things for baby boys! Boy clothes are just as cute and enticing as girl clothes, and I have the bills to prove it!!

I'm freezing!

Brrr!

We've got another wind and rain storm here today. I definitely don't want to go outside! But it is rather chilly in our family room, too. We haven't turned on the gas fireplace, as it doesn't really do much except burn dinosaurs (and dollars) while the fan (supposed to pump out the heat?!) doesn't do anything except make a heck of a lot of noise. Since we convinced the builder to install the 1.25kW heater that they 'forgot' to install initially (thank heaven we had the electrical plans and could prove that the heater was missing), we've been relying on that to heat the dining room and family room. It does well for the dining room, but isn't really enough on its own for the family room, too. Since my preferred chair for breastfeeding Jakob is in the corner with the windows, it is in the midst of a sub-Arctic microclimate. We haven't calibrated the themometers (we're geeks, yes, but we're tired geeks), but it seems like there might be a good 3 degree Celsius difference between the thermostat location and the armchair by the windows. Once I was feeding Jakob and I got so cold Werner had to bring wrap a blanket around me.

But not for long!! We've contacted an electrician who will hopefully be able to fit us in some day next week. We're going to have another baseboard heater installed by the windows, which should make a big difference. It has to, it doesn't have a choice!

And here they are!

I present, in whatever randomish order they were uploaded and arranged by Blogger, the photos from our photo session last week at Bopomo!

We're sleeping apart

I'm not a good sleeper at the best of times. I've gone whole years completely dependent on earplugs, just to get through life in student residence halls. With Jakob sleeping in our room, I wake up with every gurgle and coo. Since he wants to nurse every three hours, and since (by the time burps, spit-ups, and mid-meal diaper changes are accounted for) each feed takes a good hour or more, I've been subsisting on naps of ninety minutes to an hour, and those naps are invariably broken by me waking up with every little tiny sound he utters.

I'm getting desperate.

And, so, last night, Werner took the Bärchen into the guest room and brought him to me to nurse. I did wake up more than once wondering why it was so quiet ("What's wrong with the baby??"), but I got some semi-solid sleep. Surely the best sleep I've had in months.

I missed my husband, but I'll be a better wife with a little quality sleep.

Holy cow!

We were out and about today, a big trip to the 'burbs all because I wanted to go to a cat show. Of course, as soon as we arrived, Jakob let us know that he was hungry. We took the first seats we found - hooray, they happened to be at the ring where the Maine Coons were being judged! - and bottle-fed the Bärchen. Once I'd admired the kitties, we drove down to Steveston for some fish and chips. By the time we stopped for groceries, Jakob was hungry again, so Werner brought him back to the car for another bottle. I was feeling, ahem, rather full by then, but was still not ready to nurse anywhere except at home, where I've got my pillow and preferred armchair. While Werner fed the Bärchen, I shopped and tried to ignore the building painful sensation.

On our way home, Werner told me he'd get everything into the house so I could run to the pump (aka, the milk machine). And that's pretty much how it happened.

He came up to our bedroom, where I was milking myself. I had to ask him to pass me a spare bottle. He did.

When all was said and done, I tallied up the total volume. Three bottles, 400 ml.

I missed two feeds, but produced enough milk for four meals.

Mooo!

I always thought babies flew for free

We've planned Jakob's first trip to Europe. We'll be going for just a week, which will be split partly between Germany (meeting Oma and Opa and Onkle Johannes and Tante Katja and Kusine Hannah and Kusin Jonas) and Austria (Werner teaches, Jakob and I explore as I muddle through with my German). We'll be gone just long enough to leave me utterly confused about whatever time zone I'm in.

So, the tickets are bought. And oh was I surprised! I always thought babies flew for free! Noooo. Granted, Jakob's airfare doesn't cost as much as ours, but it is still $400! And he doesn't even get his own seat! At least I've been booked into a seat with a bassinet feature on the facing bulkhead, but Werner will be across the aisle from us.

{sigh}

The travel agent suggested that, because the flight likely won't be full, the airline might just give us a seat for Jakob. We'll have to bring his carseat anyway, so we'll decide at check-in whether to check the carseat or take it aboard with us.

$400!!!

He's only little, can't he be counted as part of my carry-on allowance?!

Thursday readings

When I was pregnant, I counted the weeks as beginning on Thursdays, as based on the dating ultrasound. And every Thursday morning I read the pertinent chapter of Your Pregnancy Week by Week.

Jakob was born on a Thursday, and wouldn't you know it, the authors of that book have a book for baby's first year, also with a weekly format. So guess what I now read on Thursdays? (At least, when I have a chance, that is.)

Sleep while the baby sleeps

Yeah, that's not going so well. It's what everyone advises, but in the six weeks since Jakob was born, I've taken precisely two naps. Not because I haven't wanted to sleep, but because there's so much to do and because he tends to be alert in the afternoon, which is when I most feel the need to nap.

Even in the hospital, I was told to rest up, but there was the parade of non-medical visitors. So no success there, either.

{sigh}

Professional photo shoot

Yesterday we took Jakob for a professional photo shoot. We went to a studio that is only a few days older than him, and we haven't heard any reviews. But, they specialise in baby/child and maternity photos, so we thought we'd give them a try.

The photographers were excellent. They were very patient and creative and receptive to our requests. When Jakob got hungry, they gave us time to feed him. They seem to truly enjoy what they do.

We weren't entirely thrilled with the sales side of things, though. Mainly, we didn't know what we were in for. We thought we would be there for 45 minutes, an hour tops. Just long enough for the sitting. Not quite. As it happens, we were compelled to go through all the photos immediately. After the photographer had deleted those which were of poor quality, we were left with about 100 to look through. We needed to decide, right then and there:

• which ones we would never ever want to order, so they could be deleted; and
• what we wanted to order.
  

Had we not ordered immediately, we would have been charged an extra $50, of which $25 was non-refundable.

We pleaded with the receptionist/order girl to let us go get lunch. She consented. We enjoyed a fantastic lunch at Moderne Burger, collected ourselves, and headed back to the studio.

When we got back, we sorted through the photos and placed our order. It seemed to take hours. I got dehydrated (oh, the many joys of breastfeeding) and Jakob got hungry. We'd brought only one bottle for him because, hey, we were only going to be an hour or so. Our appointment was at 12:30; we left somewhere around 4:45.

So much for the rest of the afternoon. And we had good plans, exciting plans for the afternoon. Werner was going to work from home so he could take care of Jakob while I slept. It would have been a very happy afternoon for me.

Oh, well, it should be worth it. I honestly lost track of what we've ordered. There were some absolutely fantastic shots, and I'm very excited about the photos. I'm disappointed that we didn't get any sort of proof, not so much as a contact sheet. We could buy a CD with the digital file, but it would include only those photos we've bought as prints. (Hello, scanner!)

By comparison, we had about 1000 proofs from our wedding photos. It took us, oh, something like five months before we ordered our wedding album. It took us that long to narrow down our choices. And then we went through multiple iterations of the album before finally settling on the contents and layout.

The photos I think will be ready today, but I'm certainly not getting out today. That said, I'm excited to see what we have ordered. There were some excellent shots.

Snuggled up

Six weeks old!

Jakob is six weeks old today, and has reached a couple more milestones:

This morning we put him into his swing so we could eat breakfast. For the first time, we've seen him looking up at the mobile:



(The second photo is blurry, I realise that, but it is too cute to not post!)

And while awake in his bassinet, I went over to take a look at him. He was looking away, so I called his name and whistled, and he turned to look at me. Absolutely amazing!

A first for me

This morning, for the first time, I clipped Jakob's nails. It isn't as though I've let his nails grow all this time; at first I tried nibbling them off, but not being much of a nail-biter, I didn't do very well. His Nanny clipped them before returning to Ontario, too.

But he's reached the grabbing stage. He gets a part of me and he holds on tight. Just the grip of those tiny fingers is enough to hurt, but the little nails are astonishingly sharp.

So I finally did it. I used the specially-bought nail clipper and trimmed his nails.

Much better now. And I lived to tell the tale.

Cream of the crop

I must be feeding this kid cream, the way he's growing.

Today I went to a mom and baby drop-in run by community health, and I weighed Jakob. He's up to 4750 g. In the 11 days since he was last weighed at Dr L's office, he'd gained 602 g, an average of 55 g per day! The expected daily weight gain is 30 g.

Looks like we've got ourselves a keener.

Nanny, he did it again!

Whenever we change Jakob's diaper, we live in fear. Fear that he will pee. And, being a little boy, when he pees it is a true fountain.

While my Mom was here, she came downstairs after changing Jakob's diaper, howling with laughter. He had, you see, peed. And the fountain happened to be aimed right at his own face.

Well, I decided to weigh him at the weekly parent/infant drop-in. Since all of his weights thus far have been unclothed, I had to strip him right down. The volunteer who helps out with the weighing was anxious, apparently one too many babies have peed (or worse) on her scale, but he came through dry.

Turns out, he was saving it 'til I was dressing him.

And, yes, once again he was the victim of his own fountain.

At least, for once, I was dry.

Happy dance! Happy dance!!

As of 9:45 last night, I am again wearing my rings!

If you've been even half awake while reading my blog, you'll know that I had swelling during pregnancy. You'll at least know that I've whined about this quite a lot. You'll know I've needed new shoes, for instance.

I knew that, sooner or later, I'd have to take off my rings. I don't wear much jewellery, and my only rings are my wedding band and engagement ring. Although I do take off my engagement ring for rollling out dough, cleaning, showering, or anything else that could either harm (or gum up) the ring or be damaged by the ring, I never remove my wedding band. Ever. And I was loathe to do so. Meaning that I wanted to put it off as long as I possibly could: to leave it on as long as possible, but not so long that I couldn't remove the ring. Aside from simply not wanting it to be cut off (and damaged) if I waited until it was too late, I wasn't even certain whether the platinum could be cut off. (The owner of the jewellery store where I use to work wore a platinum band, but he was probably the person in Sudbury with platinum jewellery, at least back then.)

I made it to 27 weeks and five days and I knew then that I had to. My rings were getting tight, and the next day we were due to fly to Boston. Considering the cankles I sprouted during the flight, taking them off was clearly the right decision. Since I had always intended to leave my wedding band on at all times, it is sized slightly smaller than my engagement ring. And since I was removing my engagement ring for my showers, I did have a daily status check on how it was fitting. It came off without too much struggle. But damn was it painful to get that wedding band off! Since my hands were always at their most svelte at bedtime, that's when I set about getting the band off. First, I tried cold water, to help alleviate the swelling. Nope, didn't work. Next, I slathered some Vaseline onto my finger. Also unsuccessful. Finally, in desperation, I tried the trick of tightly binding my finger with dental floss, then unwinding it so as to force the ring off of my finger. My finger turned purple from blood constriction, and I became convinced that the ring was permanently stuck across the widest part of my knuckle. Going back would be about as difficult as going forward, so I pressed on and somehow forced the ring past my knuckle.

And I sobbed, more with sadness than physical pain, at having to remove it.

"Oh!", you say, "But you've had a ring on in all the photos!"

"Ah-hah!", I respond, "My decoy worked!"

Yes, I bought a plain silver band for all of $15 from a cart at a suburban mall. At least it made me feel less naked.

Now, it feels so good to have my rings back on. They're pretty, yes, and I will enjoy once again being dazzled by the sparkle, but it was the emotional weight of the rings that I most missed. The engagement ring that Werner carried in his backpack while we dined at The Pointe and then presented on the beach the next morning. The inscribed wedding band, custom-made for me, blessed at our wedding and placed on my hand by my new husband. I've missed these constant symbols of our vows and our love for one another.

NO!!!!

I had just crafted an eloquent (I hope) and lengthy post and accidentally navigated away and Blogger deleted it!!

And I probably have mere minutes left 'til Jakob decides it is time for his lunch.

Aaaaagh!

Not comfortably, but...

I can now get on a pair of corduroys and my least-favourite pair of jeans!!

More random photos

I may be tempting fate...

...but I think I've finally shaken the night sweats! It has been a few nights now since I've woken up soaking wet...

But, then, it could just be that I'm not sleeping long enough to even start sweating...

Again, if only I'd known

The day following Jakob's birth, I was visited in my hospital room by a never-ending parade of unexpected people.¹ One of these was from a research assistant on a project². As you've read, we decided that we would help out with research studies wherever feasible and appropriate, so I was ready to sign the consent form even before I was told of all the goodies we'd receive in return.

So, the community health nurse dropped off our package during her home visit. Included was a DVD, which we watched last night, and a brochure which we also read. Now, we've got a "baby's day diary" to complete.

Oh.

If I had been warned (maybe I was and don't remember?) how pedantic it would be, I wouldn't have participated. Oh, sure, I've had people jump through all sorts of hoops for my research, but I don't think I asked anything like this. And certainly not of anyone who was sure to be completely sleep deprived.

For 96 hours, from midnight today (last night?), I have to complete a diary which details Jakob's sleeping and moods - awake and content through to awake and crying unsoothably. And on the parents' side, we have to note when we hold him, how we put him down (back, side, or belly), and so on. Ok, doesn't sound too bad, right? For those 96 hours, I have to account for these details in five minute increments.

Why did I agree to this??

The diary will be followed-up with a telephone interview in three weeks. I'm not quite sure what to expect then...


¹ My whinge about my hospital stay! I was advised to rest up in those first 24 hours, yet the hospital allowed - nay, encouraged! - all sorts of visits: the Preferred Accomodation lady (gee, thanks for the toiletries), the Breastfeeding Challenge lady, the official photographer (selling photographic services), the gift shop volunteer (again, selling items), and so on. If all these people must must visit, couldn't they all have come within the same narrow time frame?? Did they really need to time their visits to coincide with me having just fallen asleep following the previous unwelcome visit?

² I probably wasn't supposed to look up the research protocols, eh? So much for that double-blind component... Never research a researcher.

My good deed du jour

In the check-out line at Babies R Us, I saw a pregnant woman with a Medela Pump In Style, the same pump I've got. I whispered to her, "They might throw me out of the store, but I have to tell you that I got the same pump at the hospital for $50 less than they charge here!"

She thanked me and put it back on the shelf.

Hmm. How about that.

In theory, I could still be pregnant now. Jakob was born when I was just 37 weeks. By that same count, as of today I would have been 42 weeks. If I'd gone overdue, right about now there would have been talk of induction (if I understand correctly).

To tell the truth, I feel a bit cheated. Although I had a relatively easy pregnancy, it wasn't easy on my body (the only reason I can think of why it would be better to have a child at 20) and the third trimester was particularly unfun. But I thought I had at least three more weeks, especially given the theory (statistic?) that first babies are usually late. When my water broke, Werner said, "It can't be that, it's too soon, maybe you peed?" and went back to sleep. But I too kept thinking, "This can't be labour, I'm not ready!"

The major things were in order - the carseat, the stroller, the crib, the stocked freezer... But I didn't get to have that clean-the-whole-house-top-to-bottom stage of nesting, and we didn't get the nursery absolutely finished. So much for stenciling a teddy bear border around the walls. The dresser and crib were positioned where it was convenient at the time - will we leave them there? No chair in the nursery, either, nor a lamp nor clock nor radio. I hadn't bought a nursing bra. I never did make up a labour and delivery music playlist/CD, the hospital bags hadn't been packed (although, thankfully, the packing list was ready), and we hadn't arranged for stem cell banking. I didn't bake bread, or get to another pedicure (a necessity as much as a luxury once I couldn't reach my feet), and my pre-scheduled weekly prenatal massages became postpartum massages. I didn't finish the fleece blankets I was making, or the blanket I was supposedly knitting. I had completed two prenatal studies just hours before going into labour. We didn't get away one last time, nor did we even get out for one last nice meal together, just the two of us.

Most of all, though, I wasn't emotionally ready. As uncomfortable as I felt (and, admittedly, I was probably getting grumpy about that), I wanted to enjoy that last bit of time. I wanted to rest up, as much as I could, maybe even take that last opportunity to be selfish and spoil myself. Most of all, there was one 'perk' of pregnancy that I really enjoyed, and I wasn't ready to give up - the sensation of Bärchen squirming in my belly. I wish there had been some way of bottling up that feeling and saving it for later.

As we drove to the hospital, my contractions were strong, painful, and coming every three minutes. I was noncommunicative and, I think, barely lucid. But I did have one recurring thought between pains: I'm not ready. I was practically ready, but not emotionally.

I certainly wasn't wishing for the discomforts of late pregnancy to continue, but I do wish I had felt emotionally and mentally prepared at least for labour, if not motherhood. I had already waited so long, but it turns out it wasn't quite long enough, and I was caught by surprise.